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[Dec. 29th, 2008|04:51 pm] |
this is my horoscope for the week of december 29th:
virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
This week, you'll have more energy than a brand new puppy waiting for his walk. And you know how some people are dog people and others would rather piss on a fire hydrant in public than show a canine a little love? Well, the same goes for you: Your crotch-sniffing, drippy tongue act will be a little much for all the wrong people. But there's one special person out there who's going to just love it, and it's gonna be just like that spaghetti scene in The Lady and the Tramp. Ain't puppy love grand? Your New Year's resolution: If you sense a kindred spirit in the room, go straight for the crotch. And stay off the furniture.
( silly horoscopes and new years' resolutions for the rest of you )
courtesy of em & lo's sex blog |
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| thursday stream of consciousness time |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|09:59 pm] |
if there is one thing at which my mother is excellent, it is name-calling. my little brother just got out of bed and came downstairs for something to drink, and in one sentence she called him about seven different names, including but not limited to "mister nine o'clock," "big ol' hyena," and "non-sleepin gettin-out-of-bed burgermeister meisterburger." she is also remarkably good at wearing a little ponytail on the top of her head. i believe that one day, if and when i have children, i will refer to them as my little hyenas. i think that would be just adorable, especially since they're going to be french- i'm going to have french children, because there is nothing more precious than a french child saying le bourdon, which means bumblebee, and i want to be called maman. bryson, my gorgeous dandelionfluff puddle-wonderful little bee pup, i sure hope that's alright with you because as of this moment i think if i were to have a child with anybody it would be yours, your french child. today i have decided i am going to get my street performing license, just because there is nothing cool about not having a street performing license. and as my dear friend dailey said once, "my entire purpose in life is bein cool." of course, he was only joking at the time.
you know why i love jane? because she is so funny:
jane : you know who is ugly?
olivia : yes!
jane : EVERYONE I'VE DATED
jane : ever
olivia : HA
janey, you're alright. i don't care what they say about ya.
sometimes i am funny too:
olivia: you know who is pretty cute?
olivia: MAH BOYFRAN
jane: STFU
haah oh i kill me really olivia you have to settle down |
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| dream journal entry #5: |
[Oct. 24th, 2007|07:31 pm] |
Hoppe was running a speakeasy out of his basement. It was a popular drinking and dancing place for a while, but by the time I found out about it and decided to go see what it was all about, nobody who was anybody really liked to go there anymore. I thought to myself, "The inseam for Hoppe's zoot suit must be so long. I wonder if he has to have those pants made special." It was so funny I laughed in my sleep. |
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| dream journal entry #2: |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|08:48 pm] |
Jane and I bought lots of ugly clothes at a big department store. Instead of putting them in a cart or a bag, we rolled them up in a huge katamari-like mass and pushed them around. We saw some of her friends there and they tackled us. Her mom had something negative to say about the matter. |
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